


Mallrats

by ghostbusters



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ErenLevi isn't requited, M/M, real dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7333354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostbusters/pseuds/ghostbusters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren hates the mall. Armin loves the mall. Eren is Armin's best friend so he puts up with their mall trips and follows him around. Levi works at the mall. Eren meets Levi when he's working and decides to follow him around the mall instead. Armin hates this development. Levi hates everything. Erwin loves Burger King.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mallrats

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this 2 years ago and never edited it or posted it anywhere so here you go. i was working in retail and very bored and am still working in retail and even more bored so here is this bat shit random story. it's based partially around the summer i followed the hot manager of this one store around until he confronted me and i chickened out and did nothing. don't be like me. don't be like eren either. really don't be like eren.

“But he's _so_ hot! Come on! Tonight might be the night.”

Armin sighed for what was probably the twelfth time that hour. He took another sip of his coke and shot Eren a look as his friend made a pathetic whining noise. This was getting out of hand.

“He's like ten years older than you, maybe more. Think of that,” Armin offered, trying to dissuade his friend from awful life choices.

“So? Maybe he won't care.”

“But the law does? A lot of _adults_ care about going to jail. It's definitely up there on the list of things they try to avoid.” _And he's really not that hot_ , Armin thought to himself. _Short, rude, and a bad haircut on top of his sour personality._

Eren grumbled in response and mashed buttons on his video game controller. What was he even playing? Regardless, his character just died in whatever game it was and his attention switched to rant about the pointless game. And for that subject change, Armin was glad.

Around a month ago, the two best friends had been wandering around the mall, minding their own business. Armin was at least. He needed new shoes and Eren didn't want to sit home alone for another disastrous family game night. So, Eren came along to shop for once and promised that he wouldn't break anything this time. He wasn't the biggest fan of simply wandering around the mall because he couldn't care less about fashion or the annoying people lingering around, but he'd put up with it for Armin's sake. That kid had an arsenal of convincing faces that Eren was powerless to resist.

They were in one of the big department stores- better than a Sears but less expensive than a Macy's. Eren certainly didn't notice the name as they walked in. All he was concerned with was avoiding the perfume section that every single one of these types of store insisted on placing right at the entrance. Armin didn't care, he'd politely decline whatever the perfume ladies asked him and stroll through without a care. Eren stormed through like a bull with his collar fisted in his hands, raised to hide as much as his face as possible. It was thoroughly embarrassing for both of them.

His antics in the perfume department were mild compared to what happened once left alone in the shoes. Eren grew bored as Armin tried on pair after pair. They all looked the same, clunky and brown.

“Why don't you just borrow a pair of your grandfather's? Those don't look any different.”

Armin glared at him and shoved the shoe back into the box. “ _Eren_. Please.”

“Sorry. I'm just bored.”

“Go take a walk somewhere. I'll text you if I can't find you when I'm done.”

“Fine...” Eren walked away and wandered through the labyrinth of shoes aisles. He passed through the women's section because it was on the way, but stopped in confusion at the weird as fuck pair of shoes on the main display. Is this what people considered stylish these days? He lifted the bright red strappy heels covered in spiked studs with complete and utter confusion.

“I don't think those come in your size, kid.”

Eren looked around for the owner of the voice, scowling when he found an employee staring at him on the other side of the table, bottle of cleaner in one hand. Wow, he was really short.

“Excuse me?”

The guy blinked slowly and simply walked away after a weird moment of eye contact. He resumed his task of cleaning off the price signs, displeased with the amount of greasy finger prints he found on all the plastic. Disgusting. The consumer public was completely disgusting.

Eren didn't like being ignored and he also didn't like being made fun of either. At least, he thought he was being made fun of. It sure sounded like that.

“Hey. _Hey_ , worker.”

The guy slowly turned to stare at him, still wiping down a sign as he did so. Eren honestly didn't know what he was going to say to this guy but the whole evening of pent up energy wasn't doing him any favors in the decision making department.

“What?”

“Um...” Eren looked this guy over. He was kind of interesting to look at, if Eren was being honest with himself. He had a haircut that looked about a decade and a half out of style but it suited his skinny face and skinny everything, really. Except for his baggy black pants drowning his figure. The bright blue uniform vest looked totally out of place on him and his otherwise black clothing, but so goes the demands of the job. Eren's eyes lingered on the nametag, reading it out loud and drawing out the vowels without an ounce of shame. “...Levi? Levi.”

“You can read. Amazing. Again, what?”

“How old are you?” He blurted out stupidly. Eren was honestly curious. This guy had one of those faces that put him in the such a wide age ballpark that it was impossible to gauge a guess confidently.

“Wow. Bye, kid.” He took his cleaning supplies and sauntered away, disappearing just as suddenly as he appeared. Eren shook his head and made his way back to where he left Armin, a little dazed and more than a little pissed off at that brief encounter.

Armin was just putting his old shoes back on when Eren rounded the corner into the aisle. He threw himself onto the bench opposite his friend and huffed in a tizzy with crossed arms. He scowled up at the ceiling, brows furrowing at his reflection staring angrily down at him. This store was one of the older ones of its type that hadn't seen a renovation probably since the nineties, if the ceiling mirrors and chintzy chandeliers were anything to go by. Armin packaged up the new shoes he'd decided on and avoided his friend's obvious pouting for as long as possible.

He couldn't avoid it long. Not when Eren was throwing off such obvious, desperate vibes of wanting to be asked,“What's wrong now, Eren?”

“I'll tell you what's wrong. This fucking store has the shittiest customer service ever. You really shouldn't be even giving them money at this point.”

“What happened?” Armin flatly asked as he made to head to the register. Eren trailed behind, complaining loudly about some 'rude midget who completely insulted him for no reason.' Armin just hummed and nodded in the right places. He wasn't there so he didn't know for sure, but he would bet good money that his friend was exaggerating. Armin just let him vent, better to let him get it out now.

Levi was working the cash register. He looked up at the two high schoolers with that dead eyed stare and made no indication that he and Eren had interacted earlier. Eren groaned loud in his throat and muttered to Armin that he'd meet him outside the store near the fountains.

“That was him, right?” Armin asked a few minutes later, taking a seat on the fountain edge.

“I don't want to talk about it. It's over.”

Armin lifted an eyebrow and dragged Eren through the mall to leave. He wanted to go to a few more shops but it wasn't worth the aggravation at this point.

\- - - -

Eren showed up at the mall a few days later on his own, which shocked Armin completely when he recounted the story later. It was almost more shocking to him than the outcome of Eren getting kicked out of the place.

The thing was, Eren didn't often dwell on people. Especially not in _that_ way. Sure, he was sixteen and was going through all the raging awkwardness of that magical age, but people and him never really clicked. He had his adopted sister for primary social interaction and she was great, but acted more like a second mother half the time. Armin was the most loyal friend a guy could ask for, but there wasn't really anyone else making a lasting impression in his life. For some reason, his mind was stuck on that weird guy at the mall.

He went back to the store on a whim, not even knowing if Levi was even working that particular Wednesday. He was though. He was lurking around the housewares section with the same bored expression from the other night plastered across his face. His entire demeanor looked like that of a man whose brain had been numbed by the day in and day out influence of the hypnotizing muzak playing over the speakers. Levi caught sight of Eren obviously following his path around the department and boldly stared directly at him.

“Can I help you?” He asked in a detached voice as he dusted off a hideous tea set on the counter.

“Not really. Just looking,” Eren blushed a little, embarrassed that he'd been caught so soon. And here he thought he was being stealthy. The kid walked like he was trying to drag the carpet along with him, of course his presence would be known right away.

“I could see that. Try to be less subtle next time, almost didn't see you gaping at me from behind the frying pans.” Dripping, absolutely dripping with sarcasm and it infuriated Eren.

“Maybe I'm actually interested in a frying pan. You don't know! I'm a paying customer.”

“Not exactly. You haven't bought anything.” He wandered away to dust in another part of the section in solitude.

Eren grunted and shuffled around awkwardly in place. What the hell had he been expecting? He couldn't just walk up to the guy and say any of the things he really wanted to. He had so many questions. Like, where did this guy go to school? Why was he such an unresponsive dick? How old was he anyway? _Why do I find you attractive?_ Eren couldn't help it, it all happened so quickly. He was so intrigued by this guy. Eren was totally captivated by the guy despite his total lack of an agreeable personality. The entire situation was really fucking stupid. Why were his stupid teenage hormones choosing _now_ , and honing in on this specific weird guy?

Eren swallowed his pride and strode over to where Levi was currently dusting, with an expression less harsh than usual on his face. He looked almost relaxed as he ran the duster across the glass shelves. Eren smiled to himself, holding back a chuckle as he watched Levi stretch to dust the top shelf slightly out of his reach. Well, he didn't hold in that laugh as much as he thought he did. Levi's head jerked over to look in his direction, soft expression hardened again to a grimace.

“Stop following me, kid. Buy something or leave.”

The tone of his voice took Eren back a bit, as it went beyond the guy's usual annoyed indifference. Eren stammered over his words as the guy approached him with the handle of the duster raised in some sort of defense. He wouldn't actually hit him with it, would he?

“I'm sorry, sorry for staring. Um. I just have a question. So-” He took a step back when Levi was a few feet away, back knocking into a display case full of ceramic dishes. Levi groaned in anticipation just before the item crashed to the floor. Eren breathed a sigh of relief when it didn't shatter, the carpet surprisingly cushioning the fall. That was really close, too close. He almost made a complete fool of himself.

“Wow, that was close, huh?” Eren tried to joke, but Levi brushed past him to place the dish back on the display.

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi shot back. “Get out of here before you do any real damage.”

“I think _you're_ the one who's done the damage here. You need to take responsibility for the state I'm in.” Eren threw in an attempt at a sexy wink at the end of his statement. Where had that even come from? _Who says things like that?_ And yet, he did. God, he was smooth. The goddamn smoothest. Levi opened his mouth slightly in disbelief at this moronic kid in front of him.

“State of delusion, if anything. And once again, _wow_. Also, bye. Excuse me while I go wash my mouth out because I think I just threw up a little.”

“Hey, come back! I just want to talk to you!”

“Fuck off!” He called back, flipping him the bird as a souvenir for the evening.

“Well, fuck you too!” Eren slammed his fist down in anger on the counter. He regretted it instantly as he felt the vibration of the stand holding the dishes up clatter on the table. Levi spun around with murder in his eyes as the entirety of the counter's products smashed against the floor. One fallen dish might have been able to avoid an unfortunate fall, but Lady Luck had gotten the hell outta dodge the second that awful pickup line slipped from Eren's mouth.

Eren stood like a deer in front of a semi truck on the highway, sweating a little as Levi fumed with the most emotion he'd seen the guy display yet. He pressed the button on his radio and flipped the mic of the headset he wore down to his mouth. Eren was in deep shit now.

“Security!”

\- - - -

“You got kicked out of the store? What did you do?!” Armin pulled Eren inside the house, hastily wiping rain from his friend's forehead. If he lingered there too long, Eren didn't notice.

Eren was not feeling up to going home so he ended up walking to Armin's house after being escorted out of the mall. He would have been simply scolded and possibly made to pay for the damaged goods, maybe even not that much but, being Eren Yeager, he made a huge scene. It wasn't even worth repeating for the sheer idiocy of the event, but it did result in mall security walking him out to the parking lot.

He retold the night's events to Armin, really exaggerating some aspects of course.“Stupid mall cops. They don't even have guns.”

“They don't even have hand cuffs either, you know.”

Eren nodded in agreement, though he didn't know that particular tidbit. He fucked up and he fucked up bad. Was it worth it? He'd learned nothing about Levi other than the guy completely hating his guts. He did have to clean up all the broken glass now and Eren felt especially bad now that he realized that part.

“What were you doing at the mall anyway? You hate going. And you didn't take me!” Armin threw his hands up in mock hurt. Eren leaned against him, just worn out from the day's events. The close contact made Armin's heart rate speed up a little and he hated how easily he was affected. Well, he'd take what he could at this point. He added softly, “You know this wouldn't have happened if I was with you. _Someone's_ gotta keep on eye on you.”

Eren sighed, guessing that now was as good a time as ever to spill his big news to Armin. He wasn't even fully sure of it himself, but who was better to talk to than his best friend? The two boys settled down on Armin's bed like they usually did, both half sprawled over the other, closer than most friends did when simply lounging around.

“I have to be honest with you. Need to talk to you about something important,” Eren hesitated, looking up at the ceiling as Armin clung to his arm in worry.

“What is it? What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong, unless you're weirded out by it. So. I'm... hmm.” He really didn't want to say it out loud. It was weird. He didn't like thinking about these things, let alone say these things out loud. He was still iffy on the reason why he was so fascinated by that Levi guy. Maybe voicing his concerns aloud would make it easier to wrap his head around.

“Ok, fuck it. I-I don't fucking know what's going on with me. But I like this one guy. And it's fucking my better judgment up. More so than usual. So yeah. Dudes. I think I'm into them.” He cringed at the end of his momentous declaration.

“What. _What_.” It wasn't a question. Armin turned completely on his side to face his friend, giddy smile beginning to spread across his face. “Since when and are you serious?

“Yeah? Maybe? This is a new thing.”

“Yeah it is! Eren, guess what!” Eren furrowed his brow and turned on his side as well. Armin whispered, “Me too.”

“Possibly gay?”

“Definitely gay.”

“Wow.”

“Yes! Wow. I never would have though you were but, wow.”

He laughed to himself and looked at Eren's confused face. His friend looked completely lost in thought, as if the floor to his entire world had just fallen away or something. He kind of looked like a trout with his mouth open and slack the way it was. Armin said Eren's name gently and tapped him on the cheek with his palm. Eren closed his mouth and his eyes, thinking hard.

This was the best news Armin had heard in a long time. All of those throwaway moments and secret, guilt-ridden thoughts about his best friend may just pay off. Their proximity, the closeness after their confessions was too perfect of a moment to pass up. Those green eyes finally opened and stared back at him, kind of blank but gosh Armin couldn't resist any longer.

Armin regretted it immediately, but he leaned forward quickly to press his lips against Eren's. He sucked in a breath and darted back, hand coming to cover his mouth. Fuck. Why had he done that? Stupid, stupid. Eren hadn't reacted though, still motionless with that distant look. Maybe he hadn't even noticed.

This was super weird. Armin turned away and settled on his back. He'd liked Eren forever. _Forever._ Since before he knew gay and straight and everything else were things and before he had the capacity to even worry about the complexities of feelings and relationships and all those troublesome issues society made such a huge deal about. His thoughts ran around in weaving circles until Eren broke the tense silence.

“Did you just kiss me?” Eren asked, more curious than upset or angry. “Or did I imagine that?”

Armin blurted out a weak answer, not wanting to discuss his real intentions and feelings at the moment. “I think so? I'm just excited that you were brave enough to tell me...what you told me. It was nothing. A friend thing. Friends do that. Sometimes. A friend kiss. Gay solidarity.” His voice stuttered on the word kiss and his face heated up impressively the longer Eren said nothing.

“Ah, ok. Well I suck at talking about this stuff, let's play some Nintendo. You fixed it, right? Piece of shit console...”

Despite not wanting to discuss anything, Armin's heart dropped a little at the realization that the brief kiss was almost unnoticed by his best friend and crush. He was a living, breathing embodiment of desperation. He booted up the game system and tried to ignore the tingle against his body at every point where he and Eren overlapped. This wasn't a new struggle. He'd dealt with their odd habits for years.

It was only worse now that the potential for something more was on the table. It was even worse then knowing that Eren might reject him anyway, now that he had the potential to reciprocate his feelings. There was nothing worse than the thought of that.

“Wait, you never told me the real reason you were at the mall? I mean, just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to pretend to like shopping all the sudden.” Armin laughed at his totally lame attempt at humor, hoping the tension would ebb. Even if it was all one-sided.

“Oh, yeah. I kind of like this guy who works there and I'm seeing where that goes. Not well at all so far. That's all.”

He was wrong again. It could get worse.

\- - - -

Armin found himself at the mall for the second time in a week. He used to spread out his trips for Eren's sake, but now he was the one being begged to go to that god forsaken wasteland of consumerism. He was so sick of that old department store and it's crappy elevator music and outdated everything.

“I don't mean to sound unsupportive,” _blatant lie_ , “but do you honestly think he wants to see you here _again_ tonight?”

“I'm not gonna bother him. Maybe just scope the scene. I didn't give the mall a chance in the past, it's alright.”

Armin sighed and followed Eren along, more chaperoning his stupidity than hanging out. He liked hanging out at the mall. He wanted to hang out at the mall. He liked looking at his 'old man shoes' and affordably priced pants. This was not that. This was wandering around a lame department store selling outdated clothing styles under awkward yellowed lighting while his best friend stalked a guy.

Eren grabbed his friend's arm and pulled him behind a rack of coats. Levi spotting. He was stacking boxes in the aisle over, head darting around to their general direction.

“Quick. Put this on.” Eren shoved one of the oversized winter coats onto Armin.

He pulled one on himself and complimented it with one of those wide brimmed sunhats and some sunglasses. If he was going for inconspicuous than he deserved the last place medal, not even that. Not even an honorary participant ribbon.

“I don't understand the goal here.” Armin stared at their reflection in the nearby mirror. They looked ridiculous. He lifted the sleeves, completely draping past his hands, and flapped them around. Eren giggled like a child at the sight, inwardly agreeing that quick thinking was not his strong suit on this occasion.

Once the two boys started laughing they couldn't stop. They doubled over with tears in their eyes, leaning against each other in support. Armin took some discreet mirror shots on his phone while Eren was glancing around for his stupid crush, mind trying to wander back into Levi radar mode. Nowhere in sight. Oh, _well_. Eren slipped the sunglasses off and came face to face with the man of his thoughts.

He really appeared out of nowhere. Armin jumped at his sudden arrival.

“Can I help you kids?”

“Actually-” Whatever bravado inspired comment Eren was about to shoot back was dodged with a quick turn of heel and the hat snatched off Eren's head.

“I'm not being paid to babysit and watch you morons play dress up. Buy it or put that shit back.” He said as he walked away, spinning the hat by the brim as he left.

They did as they were told and stopped messing around. Eren wanted to look at stereos since they were there anyway so they wasted a portion of time in the electronics section. There was no mention of Levi while they browsed, and no appearance by the man either. Armin was glad that he didn't have to watch Eren whip his head around every other minute and could simply enjoy each other's company for the night. He even managed to act mature when they went to the checkout line and Levi was on register. Armin paid for his headphones while Eren lingered close by, obviously staring at Levi but refraining from saying anything embarrassing.

“Tell me again what you planned on accomplishing tonight with that disguise stunt?” Armin asked while they sat in the food court.

“I don't even know. Thought it would be so ridiculous that he couldn't possibly get too pissed at us. Little victories, I guess. Could have been worse.” He grabbed Armin's phone and searched for the pictures of their outfits. Armin wasn't slick at all at taking them, even if he thought he was being sneaky. He smiled at them and leaned over to mess up his friend's hair. “We look ridiculous. Glad you played along and goofed off for once. It was fun.”

Armin blushed a little from the sudden contact and from that dopey face Eren was making. Was that boy even remotely aware of the effect he had on his friend? Not a chance. Completely oblivious. Eren ruined it all by taking too large of a bite of his pretzel and then accidentally smearing mustard across his face a second later. Who was he kidding? Armin even found that cute as hell. He reached over to thumb the mustard off without so much as hesitating. Eren didn't care and went back to devouring his food like a barbarian as soon as Armin was done.

“What do you even see in that guy, anyway? He's really weird.”

“He's not weird!” Eren whined, on the defensive. “Sure, he's not the typical type of attractive, but so what? I like it. He's cool.”

“I'm cool...” Armin muttered to himself as Eren rambled on about Levi's hotness. He self consciously flattened his hair against his head, instinctively making sure his ears were covered. Armin thought they stuck out too far and all this talk about looks was making him uncomfortable. Their new found openness was pretty nice at first, but the novelty had worn off. Armin wished Eren never told him that he was into guys. This was unfair. This was torture.

“He's still old though!” Armin blurted out when there was a break in the annoying tirade.

Eren rolled his eyes. “Come on, he's not _that_ old. Probably in college. Not that much older.”

“He has a tongue ring!” Armin was clinging to desperate arguments. He needed to find something unappealing about this guy so Eren would shut up already. Maybe he could build this little aspect up and freak Eren out. The guy was pretty oblivious, after all.

“What?” His face contorted into some awful mix of disbelief and confusion. Armin still thought it was cute. “ _How_ do you even _know_ that?”

“You're the one who supposedly talks to him and you _didn't_ notice? I got that one right away. It's bright blue. Makes him talk a little weird.”

“Wow. Why would he have something like that? I didn't even know people really did that.”

“They do, Eren, they do. And he does. Another reason he seems like a weird guy: he wears _eyeliner_ , Eren. Did you miss that as well?” He couldn't stop saying Eren's name and touching his arm, feeling on a roll with his critique.

“And here I thought he just had really intense eyes.” Armin gave him a look that wordlessly said _cut the sarcasm_. “Kidding. But why pierce your tongue? Ew.”

“I don't know! Well I read somewhere that, um. How do I explain this?”

“What is it? Why are you blushing?”

“It can kind of be a sex thing,” He whispered, leaning close to Eren so no one overheard. “Like it's supposed to be really great for going down. _You know_...”

Eren looked lost in another world, obviously trying to work out the mechanics of it all in his mind. The new information of sexual possibilities seemed to have broken the boy, face glazed over in thought. Armin was kind of uncomfortable watching it, knowing who Eren was imagining in this situation, since he was the whole reason for this incredibly awkward conversation. That train of thought certainly backfired. The mall had worn its welcome for the night and Armin suggested they head home. He had studying to do after all, eager to get his mind far away from tongue piercings and imaginary blow jobs.

Armin couldn't help but wonder if he'd be a worthy subject for Eren's blissed out contemplation if he got a tongue ring. No. That was stupid. He was angry with himself for even thinking of stooping so low.

\- - - - -

Lunch time at school was usually a lazy and boring affair full of bland food and disinterested small talk, but today Eren could barely keep his eyes open even for that. Armin droned on about how he thought he totally bombed his history exam, which he didn't. He never failed anything academic but that didn't mean he wasn't going to devote all his remaining energy into worrying after every exam. Eren grunted in acknowledgment and pushed his soggy noodles around his tray, absently flicking one at Armin's face when he wasn't paying attention to the force applied to his fork.

“Gross, Eren. What's wrong with you today?” He wiped the noodle off and tossed it at his sleepy friend's face. Eren didn't even react to the pasta bouncing off his forehead and back onto his tray. “Eren!”

Boy in question flinched at the force behind his name. He was too tired for all of this. He'd had quite a _busy_ , late night after their trip to the mall. “Sorry, what? I'm so tired. Sorry.”

“Why are you so tired? When did you go to bed last night?” Armin cringed at the motherly tone he was using. Who was he, Mikasa? Eren cringed at the resemblance as well.

“Don't even remember. Maybe I didn't get to sleep. Doesn't feel like it. Was doing research,” he mumbled against the palm propping up his head.

“You were not doing research.”

“Yeah I was. Extracurricular research. How's that for a five dollar word?”

“Extracurricular isn't impressive. But I'm curious now, what the heck were you reading that actually managed to hold your attention all night long?”

Eren laughed to himself, covering his face with both hands now and groaning one shocking word into his palms, “Porn.”

Armin sighed for what felt like an entire disbelieving minute. This whole sequence of events over the last month was getting weirder and weirder.

“Please tell me this is only coincidentally related to our conversation in the food court yesterday?”

“Nah, it's basically because of that. What?! I was curious!”

“And? Did you learn anything?”

His smirk gave it all away. Great. Armin's off hand comment about Levi's hidden secret was meant to throw Eren off the chase but it only managed to add fuel to his fire. Just fucking great.

“I'm gonna be honest here, Eren. Not that I don't want you to be happy, because I do, but what do you even plan on doing with a guy like Levi if you managed to get him alone? He's _obviously_ so much older and seemingly super experienced if your education last night told you anything. Most likely at least.”

Armin was forever hung up on the age thing. He just honestly didn't see why Eren needed to run off to some older guy when he had an available opportunity sitting right across from him at that very table. A completely willing opportunity at that, he need only ask and Armin would be down for anything immediately. He'd always fantasized about sleepovers gone frisky and the time honored tradition of fumbling high schoolers experimenting with each other. At least that's what the movies always promised him. While he never actually thought he had a chance with Eren, he never thought he'd be sitting at lunch listening to him admit he spent all night watching very specific porn about a very specific _guy_ who wasn't him.

“I'm sure I could figure it out if I had to. I'm very adaptable.”

Armin sighed and stood up with his tray, “No, you're a notoriously stubborn jackass and I've lost my appetite.”

\- - - - -

People were the worst. People, he could definitely do without. They never shut up, asking the most asinine questions every day at his job like brainless morons. On this awful Saturday, Levi was stuck working in the fitting room and swore he wasn't going to make it until the end of his shift. A kid peed in one of the rooms earlier and he still felt gross walking by that stall, even after bleaching the space like three times. A group of middle school girls squealed through almost an hour of trying on bathing suits and that was about his limit. Then that fucking kid walked in yet again. Of fucking course.

Where did that bleach get to? Say goodbye to those who knew him.

Didn't this kid have anything better to do than hang around a crappy Boscov's every other night? What could he possibly be getting out of following him around and getting insulted when Levi couldn't take his antics anymore? Eren waved to Levi as he walked into the fitting room. Armin trailed behind like always, loyal as a hopeless puppy. The resemblance wasn't that far off base.

Levi watched the boys bicker over which stalls they wanted and was about to just shove them into one and slam the door. Armin laid his hands on Eren's shoulders and led him to a room and pushed him inside, as if he'd read Levi's mind or something. Armin fondly stared at the closed door of his friend's stall and went into his own. Levi knew that look. He'd never made it himself, of course, but he remembered his pathetic crushes from back in the day. Sure, he was cold and distant for the majority of the time, but he wasn't made of stone. It would surprise a lot of people but he had, in fact, at one time been a similarly confused teenager.

At least he'd managed to eventually succeed in his own endeavors whereas he saw Armin's situation as particularly bleak, especially seeing how Eren positively beamed when he'd half-heartily waved back that night. Wait, why was he sitting there analyzing the love lives of two annoying high school boys? His life was fucking pathetic.

He did feel bad for that little blond kid. Both of them, actually, despite how much he hated himself in that moment for feeling it. Fine. If the Eren situation didn't wear itself out soon he'd say something to the kid. About what, he didn't really know at this point. Whatever. It was whatever.

“Big date?” Levi flatly asked, commenting on the clothing Eren was trying on and checking out in the multi-angled mirrors. Eren jumped at the sound of Levi's voice and straightened up, looking ridiculous in a too big suit jacket. Levi told him as much and Eren slipped quickly back into his stall.

Shortly after, he turned at the sound of knocking. Eren was patiently waiting outside his friend's stall in a different pair of dress pants and nothing else, completely shameless and without the flustered expression from only minutes before. The kid had the goddamn nerve to turn and wink before he started pounding on Armin's door.

“Hey. _Hey_. Stop hitting the door. Don't test me, brat. I'm not in the mood to deal with scrawny jailbait tonight.”

Armin's answer cut off whatever retort Eren was going to throw back. “What is it?”

“I need your opinion on these pants.” Armin opened the door, half dressed himself, but at least his shirt was on, even if it wasn't fully buttoned. Levi groaned and turned away from the idiots. It looked like the intro to a really cliché porno and he had no interest in watching them blush at each other.

“Eren! Put a shirt on!” He squealed and made up his buttons.

“I will, I just need to know what you think? I never buy this sort of shit so I don't know what looks nice.” He turned a little and strained to look over his shoulder. “How does my butt look?”

He did not just say that. Levi's face made best friends with the counter in front of him as he repeatedly hit his face on it. This was not his life.

“Um. Good? Really good? W-what do you want me to say?” Armin stammered and blushed and all the works. God, Armin wanted to grab a handful and demonstrate how good Eren looked in just those awful, teasing pants but that would be highly inappropriate.

Levi groaned quietly, face still flat against the counter top. He only wrenched himself upright when he realized how filthy it must be. Well, shit.

Eventually the dynamic duo pulled themselves together and put on their complete outfits and had a grand time posing together in front of the surrounding angle mirrors. They were dorks, total fucking nerds with their suits and selfies and giggles and Levi was actually going to throw up when Armin pulled Eren close to adjust his tie. He was choking on the tension in the fitting room and these boys really needed to hurry up and leave. The display was sickening and he'd had enough.

He yelled at them to wrap it up and stop fooling around.

They undressed and dressed again in their street clothes, mustering up enough composure to pay for their purchases. Eren flat out stared at Levi the entire time he was ringing up their clothing and bagging and Armin stared at Eren. Alright. Fuck it. Levi had enough of it all, he couldn't survive through another one of this kid's pathetic store visits, especially if the blonde one was going to follow him around and mope. It was ending that day. He was beyond done.

“Hey, kid,” Levi said just as Eren finally wrenched himself away to leave after lingering awkwardly by the counter. “My lunch break is in fifteen minutes. Meet me in the food court upstairs if you want to have a talk.”

Eren looked like he may very well pass out. Levi gave Armin what he intended as a sympathetic look, but Armin winced. Yeah. It probably didn't look that way. Not his fault. He wasn't apologizing for his face.

“Uh. Wait. Really?”

“A brief conversation.”

“ _Really?_ ”

“Not repeating myself, brat. I'll be there at seven. Up to you if you are.” He shut off his register and stalked off to the employee area in the back before he could take his offer back. Well, he still had the option of not showing up in the food court and standing the idiot child up after all. But that would be counter productive. There was a point in putting himself through what was sure to be the worst break he ever had the misfortune to experience at work.

\- - - - - -

“Armin! Holy fuck, can you believe this? _Can you believe this_?”

“I can and I wish I couldn't,” he scowled.

“Holy shit. Levi wants to have dinner with me. We have a date.”

“I think he referred to it as a 'brief conversation' actually.”

“It's a date. Or it's a fucking start at least. Wow. What do you think changed his mind? Ha! Maybe my seductive plans worked. Those pants must have done it.”

“Right. No clue. I guess the theory of wearing someone down and emotionally breaking them rings true sometimes. Morally questionable, but I guess in times of hopeless desperation-”

“The hell are you rambling about, dude? Come on, we've gotta get to the food court.”

Armin stopped and sighed, trying to rein in the shakiness in his voice and the stinging pushing at his eyes.

“Eren, to be honest, I'd rather not watch this so I'll meet up with you afterward. I'm going to the bookstore on level one. Call me if anything changes.”

“What a great friend you are. Not even willing to sit a few tables away for moral support?”

Armin gave him a pleading look and flicked his eyes to the ceiling, losing the ability to hold it together the closer he knew time ticked closer to the fateful seven o'clock hour.

“Text me if anything changes. You know where to find me.”

“Fine. Be that way!” Eren laughed and darted off towards his hot date in the food court.

Armin didn't cry. Not where anyone could see, anyway. If he made a hasty stop at the bathroom before continuing to the bookstore, well, he'd ask to not be judged too harshly. Life sucked.

\- - - - - - -

The food court dinner time rush had generally passed by the time Levi's scheduled break was set. He preferred it that way. He'd prefer to dine alone completely, maybe sit alone in some closet in the back storeroom, but there wasn't another place for Erwin to meet with him every night. He purchased his same plain sandwich from Subway that he bought practically every night and sat down at the same table along the wall that he always chose. Erwin, right on queue, strolled over to their standard meeting place. His smile was wide and gleaming white, hair perfectly gelled to the side, and black Verizon Wireless polo shirt tucked tight into his khaki pants. Levi was so smitten with the giant dork. Literally, giant.

He sat down, arms laden with Burger King.

“How's your shift so far?” Erwin asked through a mouthful of burger. Levi scolded him for the disgusting habit and Erwin simply laughed and took another massive bite. “Same as every night? Boring and annoying?”

“Playing match-maker, actually.”

“That's a new one.”

“Yeah. We're having a dinner guest tonight. Part of my nefarious plans.”

“As they tend to be. Which is exactly how I like them so lucky me.”

“Stop flirting, you giant fucking oaf. The kid's staring at us,” he nodded his head in Eren's direction. The boy was standing with a pained expression near a pillar in the middle of the food court.

Erwin turned to Eren and waved him over, expression stoic. This was Levi's project and he fully intended to play along. It wasn't often that their routines took a different path and he was incredibly interested to see where this was going. He moved to the chair next to the wall and motioned for Eren to sit down in the open space. He didn't. He stood there confused and more than a little disappointed.

“Have a seat, young man. I understand that Levi asked you to dine with us this evening?”

“Uh. Yes? I guess?”

“Sit down, kid,” Levi snapped, blotting his mouth with a napkin before beginning the process of getting Eren to finally, hopefully, leave him the fuck alone.

“Not to be rude,” Eren nodded to Erwin seated next to him,” but I thought it would be only you and me here?”

“When did I imply that?”

“You didn't, I guess. I just thought-”

“I have dinner with my fiance every night. The actual rude thing would be to not invite him because of what should be a rather simple, short conversation.”

Eren's heart dropped. It shriveled up and disappeared. Fiance. _Fiance_. The word might as well have been shouted on repeat over the mall PA system. It was deafening.

“Oh.” His face was burning.

“Yes. Oh.”

“Oh! I see what this is about.” Both Levi and Eren turned to glare at Erwin's eureka moment. He smirked and ignored the pointed looks and returned to devouring his second order of fries.

“Anyway, I think it is very obvious that this is a wake up call for you. I want you to move on. I _need_ you to move on. It's embarrassing and, frankly, a little pathetic.”

“Levi, don't be so harsh on the kid. He's the same one you've been complaining about, right?”

“It's a harsh world.”

“Oh, I remember how _you_ used to trail after _me_. Any little excuse to stop by the store and have me take a look at your phone.” Levi was silently fuming at Erwin's over-sharing. “Ah, I was only an associate at the time, and look at us now, both managers of our various establishments.”

“Your point?”

“Go easy on him. I'm going to get another Sprite.”

Erwin got up and left to purchase his soda, leaving Eren and Levi in awkward solitude.

“So... why am I here?”

“To clear the air? Look, it's Eric, right?”

“Eren,” he corrected in a very small voice. He wasn't feeling himself, usually so confident and loud. Or, at least, overcompensating and loud but there was always one consistent method of communicating.

“Eren, then. You have to stop. Technically, you're allowed in the store. Nothing I can do about that. Although, if your moronic stumbling breaks another display, that's a different story.”

“Sorry. Again, for that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved the apology off. “I'm here to help you.”

“How? How can you possibly help me now that you've stomped all over me?”

“A little dramatic, hmm? You're wasting your time stalking me around fucking Boscov's when you've got someone following you around who, if I'm reading things correctly, would be thrilled to have the undivided attention you unwantingly bestow on me.”

Eren scrunched his face in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Stop looking so constipated and get a clue, kid. Wake up, your blond friend has a massive crush on you. Shit, I can't believe this conversation is happening...”

That woke him up.

“Armin? What do you mean? How do you know that?”

“It's fairly obvious if you know what to look for. I've seen the same dopey face on your stupid mug for the last few weeks that I've seen on his today. I've also been a teenager and, unfortunately, we've all had our pathetic moments. I'm trying to spare both of you from it any longer. Are you alright? Looks like you're going to vomit and that I do not need to see.”

“I'm speechless. Processing it all.”

“Are we done, though? That's my main goal here. I need peace at work, please. It's shitty enough without your shit fucking up my evenings.”

“We're good. It's... done.”

“Fucking great. Erwin's coming back now, so. Goodbye? Please.”

Eren was still feeling fairly numb from emotional whiplash and his mind was spinning from certain new developments.

“Yeah. Thanks for the talk,” he stood from the table with an awful scrape of the chair and gracelessly started to leave, turning back with one final comment to make Levi almost scream. “Can I ask you a quick few questions about your tongue ring? I've watched some, uh, informative videos on the internet but I'm still curious about how that all works in real life-”

“Go the fuck away, brat. Just go, away.”

“What's happening now?” Erwin asked, chipper as hell as he sipped at his extra large cup of Sprite.

“I was just asking about Levi's tongue ring. I have so many questions.”

He couldn't pass up this golden opportunity to knock his fiance down a notch. Erwin positively beamed, glancing over at Levi. His face was plastered to the table currently, faintly screaming into his palms. Amazing. He'd be paying for the next statement later, but in the moment it was all completely worth it.

Erwin gave Eren a positively devilish smirk before asking, “I love that damn thing. What do you want to know?”

\- - - - - - - -

Armin wandered slowly through the historical fiction section, idly browsing different titles and judging books by their covers. He fought the urge to continuously glance at his phone and tried not to feel too disappointed the longer he wasted time in the bookshop. How long could this dinner break be and would it really, actually lead anywhere? There was no way. Absolutely not. Armin couldn't convince himself no matter how many different mantras he tried to repeat in his mind. He felt empty and hopeless.

A gentle hand on his shoulder caused him to jump and drop the novel he was currently holding.

“Eren! Geez! You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he was smiling softly, hand still resting on his best friend's shoulder.

“How'd, uh, how'd the date go? Everything work out the way you wanted?”

“It was more of an ambush than a date. It was never meant to be anything more than a very swift rejection, actually. I'm an idiot.”

“You're not an idiot,” Armin felt a weight lifted off his chest, substantially less likely to burst into tears again. He was elated but felt incredibly guilty now that the threat had passed. Not that guilty. But guilty enough. “I've been a bad friend. Should have been there for you, supported you a bit more.”

“Nah, you were right. I don't know what was wrong with me. It would never have worked. Besides, he's engaged anyway.”

“Engaged? Wow. So it really was way beyond hopeless.”

“Yeah, yeah. Roast me later, you'll want to brace yourself for this one.”

Eren dropped to the floor, kneeling on one knee and looking up at Armin with the kind of dopey smile that Armin never thought would be aimed in his direction.

“What are you doing?”

“We've gotta put these new suits to good use. I need a date to the dance. We were planning on going, right?” Eren grabbed Armin's hand. “Might as well go together.”

Armin wore a matching smile. “Might as well.”

He pulled Eren up, far too close now in the far back section of the bookstore. He had no idea what he was doing and he had far too many questions but Armin would take the turn of events at face value and contemplate the consequences later.

“I have no idea what I'm doing,” Eren admitted, brushing a hand through long hair. “And I'm sorry I've been an ass.”

Armin moved closer still. “I never expect anything different.”

“Nice, real nice.”

"I like you, Eren. A lot. Thought you should know."

"I do now. Should have figured this one out a lot sooner."

He couldn't take anymore of their close proximity without crushing their mouths together so that's exactly what Armin did. He went up on his toes to even the handful of inches Eren had on him and wound a hand into unruly brown hair, breath hitching at the returning press of lips against his. They fell back against the shelf, books falling to the floor around them as they got completely caught up in what was really a lot of lost time. Armin dropped the bag containing their suits to the floor and grabbed as much of Eren as he could get away with, diving back in and crashing roughly against the shelves again. It was rather violent and desperate.

A loud cough interrupted their passionate moment of teenage realization.

“Excuse me. Excuse me!” Eren and Armin pried themselves away, still wrapped around each other and incredibly flushed. “Could you stop? You're making a mess of the shelves.”

Eren grinned at Armin, never the troublemaker but grinning right back.

“Sorry. I'm not done here. A lot of lost time to make up for.” He turned back to Armin and continued as never interrupted after a very obnoxious wink.

The worker groaned and lifted their radio to yell, “SECURITY!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at [theghostbusters](http://theghostbusters.tumblr.com/)


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